God Knows...

 
"Do not be discouraged because the Lord God will be with you wherever you go." 
                                                                  Joshua 1:9

As I write this, we are standing at the threshold of 2018. We have only a glimpse of what lies ahead.

Right before my cancer diagnosis I went to dinner with dear friends. A photo was taken of me. It was sent to me several months later with a message about how strange it is to look back at photos taken shortly before receiving bad news. The caption read, “In our innocence…” We unknowingly laughed and enjoyed good food together. We talked that night about what the spot on my lung could be; about how my voice change prevented me from laughing as hard as I have for so many years. Cancer was mentioned, but I was in partial denial at that point, and did not allow myself to fully entertain that possibility.  The rest is history.

At this time last year, I was reflecting back on 2016. Every New Year’s Eve I stop and consider the blessings and challenges of the previous year, but I also think about what might lie ahead in the coming year. For me, it isn’t about resolutions or trying to take control of my life, but rather it is a time to consider how I will face those things that I have absolutely no control over. The New Year brings many questions about the future. Good health or sickness? Joy or heartache?  Financial security or financial setbacks?  God says, “Don’t be discouraged; don’t be afraid” in those times of uncertainty about the future.

Last December 31, I had no idea what I would face in 2017.  In the last 6 months my world has changed significantly. I didn’t see it coming. I have been discouraged; I have been afraid. But with each life-changing event I have faced, I am finally beginning to grasp that God knows what I don't know. He always sees, and He has a view unlike mine. He sees the beginning and He sees the ending, and everything in between. In this, I can rest because what I can’t figure out – He can. 

What happens in the coming year is not left to chance. God is in ultimate control and He stays close to us. When I face despair, confusion, fear or doubt, I try to remember the promise of His abiding presence and provision for my every need.

Update:

The holidays were a bit crazy this year. My 94 yr old mom is having health issues that require 24 hr care in her home, and my sis and I have been providing that.  She was in the hospital from Dec 23-25.  Not the Christmas any of us were expecting, but we made it, and it turned out to be a good day. My sister has since graciously opened her home for mom to stay with her and her husband. We hope this will be a better arrangement for everyone.

I loved having all my children and grandchildren home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year! We made some great memories together!

I continue to do well, but with some increased rib pain (metastasis of the cancer).  I am praying this is only a temporary set-back.  Waiting for an appointment with the vocal cord specialist to try another injection. Praying it is soon.