Remembrances

"We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done." Psalm 78:4

Sparklers in the snow, bricks heated by the stove and then wrapped in towels to warm the bed, and chopping down a fresh Christmas tree each year are the memories my mom has of Christmas as a child in Illinois.  The combined aromas of an orange, an apple and ribbon candy in my stocking, Super 8 movie camera and flashes from the accompanying light bar, the reading of the Christmas story from the Bible before opening presents, candlelight Christmas Eve services, and warm California Christmas Days are some of mine.

Recently, I have scoured the recesses of my mind for those memories I may have forgotten regarding Christmases-past, either because of brain overload or just simply not taking the time to remember. “Remembering” at a time when life becomes tenuous, can be a comforting thing. Recalling the events that made life rich and meaningful, through childhood, adolescence and adulthood, only to arrive at a place where this physical life is uncertain, becomes an exercise of great significance. After a time of contemplation and remembering, I am left with the question “Does the sum total of the good, the bad and the ugly memories of all those years represent a life well-lived?”

My oldest granddaughter interviewed me for a project she was doing for school and asked me about some of the memories I had as a child. It was difficult because I had not pondered those things for a long while. When she came to the question that asked how I wanted to be remembered, I quickly answered, “I want to be remembered as leaving a legacy of being a follower of Christ.”  The other details I shared with her of a bad day in kindergarten when my toenail fell off during story time, and the average 3rd grade student I became after skipping 2nd grade, paled in comparison to the answer to that last question!  I had to explain the word “legacy” to her – the effect a person has on others while they are alive; what they leave behind – and as I did, I realized how deeply important our legacy is. It isn't that I haven't thought of this before, but everything in life is now magnified, and a different kind of urgency has pushed me towards a sweeter, more meaningful walk with the Lord over the last 4 months.

I am amazed by those who have walked closely with God for all of their lives. What a heritage of faith they will leave behind! There is a book which I have loved and referred back to over the years by Eugene Peterson called “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.”  The title was taken from a Nietzsche quote “The essential thing ‘in heaven and earth’ is...that there should be long obedience in the same direction…something which has made life worth living.”  I could rename the book to reflect my own walk with God – “Sometimes I Went in another Direction, but Other Times I did Pretty Well at a Longer Obedience in the Same Direction.”  But the title of the book begs the question – “One-hundred years from now, when any memory of my life is long gone, will my 'long obedience in the same direction' legacy, continue through others because of who I was when I was alive?”  It is the question that I wake up and ask myself every day, and motivates me in my planned and spontaneous time with others.

As the Apostle Paul reflected on the end of his life, he made three very simple statements about his legacy. He had fought the fight, finished the race and kept the faith. Paul's statements say nothing about the education he had received, the places he had traveled, the letters he had written, the people he had preached to, or the churches he had planted. He simply wanted his legacy to be labeled as “faithful.” I love that! That's what I want to aspire to as a follower of Jesus.

It is the season of Christ’s birth.  I want to be found faithful as we enter this month of reflection, memory-making and legacy-building on the foundation of the One who came to earth, lived among us, died on a cross for our sins and rose again on the third day. 

Updates and thank yous: 

My sixth grandchild, Jaxson, was born on October 6^th!  I traveled to Seattle to spend a week with him (oh, and his parents, too!). Such a wonderful, sweet time. All my children and grandchildren were together during Thanksgiving.  What a blessing!

I received the results of my recent CT Scan, and the tumor (beanstalk) in my chest has NOT grown in the 4 months since my diagnosis! To some this may seem insignificant, but for me, I am thankful and relieved and ecstatic! I continue to praise God for everything He is doing in me physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

I will have another vocal cord injection in January using a different kind of injectable.  The previous injection worked temporarily, but I am hopeful this one will be more successful. I am actually having more symptoms from the vocal cord paralysis than I am from the actual lung cancer. There is much to say about these months without my “real” voice, and will write about it soon.

Thank you praying for me when you are prompted to pray; thank you to the dear friend who sang a hymn to me in a voicemail message; thank you to the friend who provided a harp concert for me in person and over the phone; thank you to the friend who placed a prayer request at the Western (Wailing) Wall in Jerusalem while he was there; thank you for the surprises I receive in the mail (cards, books, notes); thank you to my steadfast family who is instrumental in helping me keep my sanity when I am discouraged, and who pray for me without ceasing; thank you to my friends who consistently cheer me on. God bless you all!