Perspective

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you wlk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

Do not be afraid, for I am with you.  Isaiah 43:2-3, 5

Today, I am not suffering. I do not have pain. I can breathe clearly. My home is in tact. With Stage IV lung cancer, I am acutely aware that things could change in the blink of an eye, and that suffering may be a very real part of my future. As soon as my diagnosis became public, the stories of the suffering of others began to appear everywhere I turned -- those who suffer day after day with chronic disease or pain, families enduring incredibly difficult circumstances, a heart-breaking phone call from the mom of a friend who took her own life. Then came the fires, the floods, the hurricanes. Soon, my Stage IV lung cancer began to pale in comparison to the suffering others were facing. Perspective.

As I have moved through the 5-steps of grief over the last few months, I have safely arrived at acceptance. It is a relief to be here because my perspective has changed. The paralyzing fear I had a month ago, that tried to rip into my sanity, has been replaced with a plan of action for my health, and the renewed understanding that as a believer I am in a win/win situation whether I live 12 months or 12 years. I will have an abundant life here on earth as long as I live, or I will have a perfectly abundant life in heaven if I die! Emerging from the fog of fear, I made the decision to forego conventional cancer treatments, but am working closely with a naturopathic dr. to improve my quality and quantity of life. I have changed my lifestyle and am working towards fighting this cancer in a non-traditional way. I feel really good, most days, and am waiting and watching for the things God is doing all around me as He directs my steps. My journal is quickly filling up! Yes, he has always been doing things around me, but I am paying attention now and writing them down as a reminder of His great love and His attention to the details of my life. Perspective.

In the past couple of weeks, I have witnessed God moving in ways that I simply cannot ignore, so I must share. My daughter and her husband announced, about a month ago, that they had decided to move from the beautiful Florida keys (Marathon) back to California, so that they could be near me. This was huge, because I knew how much they loved it there. In a few days a job and a home were both provided in miraculous ways; ways that ONLY could have been orchestrated by God! But the timing...the timing was incredible!  They left the Florida keys on Friday, September 1, and just about the time they were unloading the moving truck on Wednesday, September 6th, the Florida keys were being totally evacuated. Our family shed tears as photos began to appear on social media of the complete devastation in Marathon over this past weekend. I do not claim to understand how God decides who gets out of Marathon, FL before a hurricane, and who loses everything; or why some people get cancer and others live long, healthy lives. But I do know this -- He can use something like Stage IV lung cancer, with a terminal diagnosis, to move a family across the United States out of harm's way; a family that would not have moved had I not been ill. It is mind-boggling and humbling. Perspective.

There are people all around us, including many of you, who are suffering in unfathomable ways. But this suffering is not random or without purpose. God wants us to draw near to Him so that He can do a new work in us, bring meaning to our suffering, and give us new perspective.